The Regular Guy Mash

from The Monster Mosh EP by Two Minutes To Late Night

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lyrics

I was waiting in line
at a human bank
when I received an invitation
to something rank

a flier that suggested
a ghoulish gala
a dance party
for other worldly thems and fellas

I arrived on the scene
prepared for ghosts and ghouls
but I walked inside and saw a bunch of normal fools

(they were just guys)
they were regular guys
(some human guys)
they each had only two eyes
(normal guys)
not even a clever disguise
(nope just dudes and guys)
I expected some kind of surprise

I thought it’d be ball
with fellow fiendish displays
now I’m the only daemon
at the corporate soirée

the humans were un-phased
I couldn’t give them a fright
they just stood around talking and
drinking bud light

*bud light*

I’ve made a huge mistake
there was nothing to revile
no monsters mashed, waltzed, or gangnam styled

(they were just guys)
they were regular guys
(a bunch of guys)
they’re not abnormally sized
(average guys)
coming here was unwise
(no wise guys)
I’ll have to plot their demise

they threw a Halloween party with just human guests?
not a soul was in a costume now I’m seasonally depressed
why have a hauntless celebration? give me one good reason
this cannot be allowed it’s a war on spooky season

I should kill them all
and use the resurrection spell
to morph this shindig into an un-living hell.

but even if they’re zombies would they be any fun?
they’re all branch managers of P.C. Richard and Son

*and son*

it’s too big a risk for a boring entourage
so we’ll end this song with a murder montage

(he’s killing guys)
I’m killing regular guys
(gouging their eyes)
today’s the end of their lives
(the knife blade flies)
cut them from their toes to the skies
( au revoir guys)
kiss your asses goodbye

(they were just guys)
they used to be regular guys
(some human guys)
they would eat cupcakes and pies
(apple pies)
they studied comedy that was Improvised
(was improvised)
they were regular guys

credits

from The Monster Mosh EP, released October 24, 2022

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Two Minutes To Late Night Brooklyn, New York

Two Minutes To Late Night is a heavy-metal themed talk show featuring a corpse-painted host and the world's best house band, Mutoid Man!

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